Day 17: Change

 

Change.

Change is magic.  Change is pain.  Change is flames and rising from the ashes.  Change is the process that brings us through transformation and transformation brings us closer to the divinity that is our true selves.  But with that being said our true selves are not any fixed things, they are constantly changing and adapting. 

 

To deny ourselves change is to deny yourself the best part of life, in my opinion.  Change is wonderful but it comes with it's own brand of fear...

The above is the last post I had written anything for in regards to the challenge I tried to use to kick start this blog.  And how very appropriate it is because much has changed since 2014 when the above words were written and when I had last posted in this blog.  The Idea of a blog has always appealed to me but the practice of it has always been my struggle.  I am not a consistent person, I'm very cyclic and while that gives me great satisfaction in always having something interesting going on, sometimes it is a serious shortcoming.  So one day at a time. 

              I have been doing well with keeping a handwritten journal but that has succeeded because I stopped putting pressure on myself to write something interesting every day.  Who the fuck does that?  I mean I'm a normal person, I'm not a character in a story dealing with monsters of any variety most days.  Most days I am content to try and do things I enjoy more than the things I don't enjoy and I don't think that's a bad way to live but that doesn't always make for interesting reading. 

                My idea for the blog is to treat it kind of like a recap, to talk about my life and whatever is going on in it. That may be a story (maybe I’m writing, editing, or one day publishing), may be something awesome I’m knitting or crocheting, may be something going on with people in my corner of the world, may be about food (because I really love food), may be just ramblings that I feel like I need to share with the world in the hopes of them resonating with another human being.  But for the most part to not put pressure on myself to be William fucking Shakespeare every time I write anything.  Sometimes I will write total crap and as soon as I send it out to the internet I will realize it's crap, sometimes I may not think it crap and the people of the internet will tell me it's crap and I will end up agreeing, sometimes I may come up with magic and I won't care if the internet hates it or loves it because it will be magic.  So here's to starting again and probably again and again.

 

Day 16: Secret Superpowers

Secret Superpowers.
What are the superpowers you always wanted as a kid? Or hell, what superpowers did you want as an adult?

I wanted/want;
Telekinesis - I think this always came from my laziness! Haha!
Teleportation - Again, laziness! That and I love Night Crawler!
The ability to translate my thoughts/mental images into another form (sculpture, written word, painting, drawing, etc) because this is totally a superpower.  I think this every artist's wish.
The ability to talk to animals- I read Tamora Pierce's book "Wild Magic" when I very young and I fell in love with the idea of that kind of magic or power.
Invisibility - I was a self conscious child, adolescent, teenager, and adult so the idea of being able to vanish at will always intrigued me.

But with all these wishes and desires I am very happy with the powers I do have.  I have the power to be me without shame, I have the power to take care of myself and others, I have the power to understand complex ideas and problems, I have the power to make myself understood to other people, I have learned the power of standing up for myself, and so many more.  I am content with this set of superpowers.  Not to say I would turn down ANY of the above listed powers if the were offered!

What are the superpowers you have wanted, do want, or more importantly what are the superpowers you have that you love?

Day 15: Breakthrough

Breakthrough.
Breakthroughs are amazing when they happen but sometimes being on the verge of the breakthrough can be a sort of agonizing joy as well.  Being on the verge is actually the part I enjoy more than the release of the breakthrough, the building of the tension the harnessing of the power that is motivating you toward the breakthrough, the feeling of anticipation to see what will come from all of this agony and work.  And than yes, the release, the pure bliss that washes over you when you breakthrough that barrier and see what you have been working towards.

I intend on attempting to participate in NaNoWriMo in some form.  I have not decided yet if I will do it in the official capacity through the website or if I will take the spirit of it and use it for my own devices.  For anyone unaware of what NaNoWriMo is, it is National Novel Writing Month which basically has become a challenge to aspiring authors around the world to try and write a novel in a month, to challenge yourself to set aside even more time than normal to write, to dedicate yourself to one story, one idea and to see it through to the end. 

I have not read any of this authors books yet but in looking for a link to help me properly describe NaNoWriMo not only in the technical sense but from the spirit of it and I stumbled upon this gentleman's blog post and it hit it directly on the head for me.  Be warned he is a foul mouthed lover of the all profanity but he made me laugh and he made me want to jump in with both feet even more than I already did!
http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2011/10/04/25-things-you-should-know-about-nanowrimo/

Give it a read if you so desire or not. But look for that tension, look for the build up that says something else is on the other side of this agony and DON'T RUN AWAY FROM IT but instead run towards it and experience every bit of that blissful pain that comes from finding out what is on the other side of a breakthrough.

Day 13: Inspiration

Inspiration.
Oops! I skipped this prompt!

This sentiment has always been an inspiration to me.  Because I have always felt that more people need to accept the idea of just being you.  Flaws, faults, talents, passions, and all and that is what makes you the perfect you, not adhering to someone else's idea of what makes anyone perfect because it is a trite sentiment at this point due to over use but that does not change the validity of the idea, "If we were all the same the world would be a boring place"  and that is very true because there would be nothing to life if we were all the same.  As a writer one of the first things you learn is a story without some kind of conflict is a boring story.  There have been very few people who have been able to follow the story of an Average Joe's life without conflict and create something and even in those stories, there may not be an external conflict that affects the person but it may be a study of the internal conflict that happens within each of us in various forms throughout our lives.  But how is this internal conflict created?  Is it pure manifestation without provocation?  Most of the time the answer is no.  The conflict is created through seeing differences in how other people live their lives, how they treat other people, the things other people value, faiths and beliefs that some people have and others don't or that are different than each other.  So almost always conflict is created through differences and growth almost always is created through conflict and enlightenment or happiness is almost always created through growth.  So to my mind not having conflict through differences would mean not having happiness and enlightenment in life.

Day 14: Uncontrollable Laughter

Uncontrollable Laughter.
Uncontrollable laughter is one of the most joyous things in this life in my opinion.  It makes you happy obviously, it also allows that happiness to be extremely contagious to others around you.  It increases all sorts of good hormones and such within the body.  Things that provide me with this joy are my dogs, three adorable pit bulls that cause constant joy and entertainment through their awesomely hysterical antics, my Giant is the main cause of uncontrollable laughter though in my life he is one the funniest people in my life and he knows exactly what it takes to get me laughing so hard I can't talk, can't stand, anything, another cause of laughter in my life is the stories I love to read books are so funny if you allow yourself to be open to the types of humor they provide. 

Find ways to discover uncontrollable laughter in all aspects in your day to day life.

Day 12: Practice

Practice.
Practice is something I understand in theory but the practical application I struggle a bit.  I always start every week with the intention of practicing at least one thing every day and every week I get hallway or more through the week and realize that I have at least partly failed.  I try not to let that hold me back from finishing out the rest of the week strong.  Sometimes I still don't succeed with that but practice makes perfect which is a phrase that I follow in spirit more than to the letter because perfection is a null concept in my opinion.  I follow the phrase more with the idea that practice makes you better at what you practice and makes you better at practicing.  Every time I sit down at the appointed time to write I get better at writing and at sitting down and writing when I have set the time aside for it.  The same can be said for yoga, rowing, walking the dogs, heck cleaning the house.  So, I will continue to work at practicing.

Day 11: Distractions

Distractions.
Distractions, are a huge part of my life.  They dictate my accomplishments and they are the obstacles I have to overcome in order the achieve things.  Distractions come in so many forms; exercise, food, cleaning, t.v., books, movies, music, family, the Giant, work and sleep.  I struggle with tuning out the distractions and buckling down.  That is part of the reason I am doggedly pursueing this challenge, to try and get it accomplished.  Even though I have failed to do each prompt, each day.  I refuse to admit defeat and will try and complete every prompt.

Day 10: Discomfort

Discomfort.
This last year is my year of learning to be physical and get up and move and become stronger.  So discomfort is something I've been learning to deal with.  I have had to learn to deal with wearing clothes that are tighter and more... spandex than I amused to. I have had to learn to deal with the discomfort of making my body do more work than it has ever done in my life.  I have had to learn to deal with the discomfort of doing things in front of other people that could lead to me looking like a fool or failing or hurting someone else. 

Discomfort is often mixed with a twinge of fear.  Fear of getting hurt, making a fool of myself, hurting someone else, being though of as "that girl" by other people. 

I am learning to disregard these feelings when they are unnecessary and to listen to these feelings when they are helpful to protecting me.

Day 9: Collaboration

Collaboration.
I struggle with collaboration with a lot people but sometimes if the people are right and the project is right things can be magic.  But for the most part I like to shut the door, turn on a book on tape or my music on shuffle and get shit done.  I always feel like it takes a million times longer to get things accomplished when working with a group or even just one other person.  While I love my Giant me and him have very different processes for things, which works amazingly well when one of us excels in one area because than that one gets to take charge and we do it through their process, eventually the other person learns how to do it but it's through the other person's method. 

Anyway, collaboration sometimes makes for beautiful outcomes and sometimes it leaves me frustrated and feeling like I could have done it better and/or faster by myself.

Day 8: Song Lyrics

Song Lyrics.

"Same Love" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
"Man, that's gay" gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we're saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It's human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that's not important
No freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it

I really love this song and the message and love that it comes out of genre that is not often thought of for it's sensitivity.  Beautiful song. Give it a listen.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=same%20love&qs=n&form=QBVR&pq=same%20love&sc=8-9&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&mid=E0C27CB268E5238A0907E0C27CB268E5238A0907